Peer Feedback

 

As I walked through the grass of poppies I remember all the noises the war carried.

I looked around and saw nothing that was left from the war.

All I saw was poppies and long green grass shining in the sun.

I tried to sit down until I noticed something in the grass. I stared at it for about a minute and looked away. 

The nice cold breeze felt nice amongst my skin.

I took off my hat and laid it down on the grass where I used to lay down when it was a hot day.

I remember the days when all the bombs and tanks went off along with the guns and death. 

I walked through the grass to a spot I used to sit when I was

injured and waited for the nurses to come and help. I sat down on the old nurse's beds and looked

into the building. I walked in slowly and put all my bags down on the ground.

I wandered around the old nurse's office. I looked through the draws to see something.

I picked it up slowly and stared at it. It was my watch I left here. I put it on my arm and tightened it.

I just stared at it and walked out of the building. While walking out I took my watch off and buried it

in the ground.

This was my feedback I got given about my piece of writing.

I fixed it up a bit by making it into paragraphs so its easier to read.